I remember moving to Mystic from western CT, and discovering a new sense of self as an Italian American girl. Yes, I was older, now ten, but it was more than that...now I was living in a town, and until I attended Catholic High School (where there were many Irish, Italian and Polish families), I encountered only one other ethnic family in our small town. Suddenly, I felt different, other, unique.
Can you relay experiences as a young person of color living in predominantly "white" communities (not family yet, first let's talk about towns, neighborhoods, schools).
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Our journey together
This may be easy at times, and could be hard at other times. This is about your family, and I cannot know what you have talked about with each other. Feel free to discuss off blog if you find that a question or topic has triggered a thought that you may not have shared with each other. Then, when you are ready, please share your thoughts and reflections.
In each of the families on this blog, a "white" couple chose to adopt a child across traditional lines of color or "race." This may have seemed like an easier decision to make than ended up being the road they traveled. I am interested in this journey, especially because it factors in our culture from the 70's to now.
OK, let's go!
In each of the families on this blog, a "white" couple chose to adopt a child across traditional lines of color or "race." This may have seemed like an easier decision to make than ended up being the road they traveled. I am interested in this journey, especially because it factors in our culture from the 70's to now.
OK, let's go!
Response from Tim
Hi, Dawn,
This sounds like a fun trip, and I'm comfortable with whatever format you choose, however open.
When our son was still an infant, Cally and I decided we wanted another child. Finding it difficult to conceive after several years, we decided in 1972 that adoption would be a good alternative, especially as we would be able to choose a daughter. We learned that there were virtually no white infants available (without handicaps), but that there were black or biracial infants. We thought such an adoption would be a fun experience but not a significant challenge, as we had lived for two years teaching black East Africans. Soon thereafter we were introduced to a biracial 8-month old, whom we renamed Katy and legally adopted one year later.
Katy has changed our lives in innumerable, positive ways. Number one, she is a loving, lovable individual (who happens to be biracial). Cally and I had only brothers so Katy provided a wonderful balance to our family. Growing up in a predominantly white environment, she has brought diversity and open-mindedness to two sets of relatively conservative grandparents and a previously bigoted great-grandfather, a host of our adult friends and acquaintances, and, I'm certain, countless peers for three years in a private secondary school and in a four-year, predominantly white, liberal arts college. She has made that difference because most have experienced Katy is an extraordinarily empathic human being, not because she touts her black heritage.
Katy has changed me. On the one hand, I am more aware of racial prejudice and speak out against racism and support civil rights organizations. On the other hand (and this is perhaps a dichotomy), I am colorblind; while racial heritage and pride should be encouraged, I have moved beyond initial black power and equal opportunity to an individual's ultimate identity as what really matters, his or her abilities, skills, and merits.
You and your husband are in our prayers for a successful adoption.
Tim
This sounds like a fun trip, and I'm comfortable with whatever format you choose, however open.
When our son was still an infant, Cally and I decided we wanted another child. Finding it difficult to conceive after several years, we decided in 1972 that adoption would be a good alternative, especially as we would be able to choose a daughter. We learned that there were virtually no white infants available (without handicaps), but that there were black or biracial infants. We thought such an adoption would be a fun experience but not a significant challenge, as we had lived for two years teaching black East Africans. Soon thereafter we were introduced to a biracial 8-month old, whom we renamed Katy and legally adopted one year later.
Katy has changed our lives in innumerable, positive ways. Number one, she is a loving, lovable individual (who happens to be biracial). Cally and I had only brothers so Katy provided a wonderful balance to our family. Growing up in a predominantly white environment, she has brought diversity and open-mindedness to two sets of relatively conservative grandparents and a previously bigoted great-grandfather, a host of our adult friends and acquaintances, and, I'm certain, countless peers for three years in a private secondary school and in a four-year, predominantly white, liberal arts college. She has made that difference because most have experienced Katy is an extraordinarily empathic human being, not because she touts her black heritage.
Katy has changed me. On the one hand, I am more aware of racial prejudice and speak out against racism and support civil rights organizations. On the other hand (and this is perhaps a dichotomy), I am colorblind; while racial heritage and pride should be encouraged, I have moved beyond initial black power and equal opportunity to an individual's ultimate identity as what really matters, his or her abilities, skills, and merits.
You and your husband are in our prayers for a successful adoption.
Tim
Opening Invitation
Katy, Tim & Callie,
I know you all from living in Mystic when Katy was adopted. Our families worshiped together at St. Mark's, until my family changed parishes. I am in the process of adopting two little girls, sisters, from Chicago, who are African American. Your family came into my mind and heart during workshop I was attending on Transracial adoption.
The workshop leader is a professor from University of Chicago, who has done extensive research in this area, and who herself is mixed race, and was adopted in the 70's by a single Caucasian mom, who was a social worker. At one point they moved to Wisconsin, and she experienced being one of the only black girls in her school, town, etc. And then in college when she was in a more diverse environment, she experienced challenges around cultural fluency (more on this to follow).
I would like to begin a dialogue with you two, Katy, and perhaps Steve, friend of mine who is African American and who was also adopted by a Caucasian couple in the 70's. This dialogue can be quite informal, questions posed, time given for reflection, and your responses.
Though, as I ponder this I am aware that these exchanges may be of tremendous use to others currently traveling down the road of transracial adoption. And though some of your experiences could be influenced by the era you were in, some are profoundly universal.
One format this could take is a blog that could be limited to posting by just us. This way we could all see our responses and comment as well. But, it would be visible though to others. Is that too open a forum? If so, we can try another format. Perhaps just email. Other ideas?
I am excited and daunted, by the possibility of venturing down this path with you all. I feel a book could be in the future (good way to scare everyone off, huh!) No, please consider the power of sharing your truth...you all made maverick choices, and lived through the consequences. I would be honored if you would now reflect on them, and share.
dm
I know you all from living in Mystic when Katy was adopted. Our families worshiped together at St. Mark's, until my family changed parishes. I am in the process of adopting two little girls, sisters, from Chicago, who are African American. Your family came into my mind and heart during workshop I was attending on Transracial adoption.
The workshop leader is a professor from University of Chicago, who has done extensive research in this area, and who herself is mixed race, and was adopted in the 70's by a single Caucasian mom, who was a social worker. At one point they moved to Wisconsin, and she experienced being one of the only black girls in her school, town, etc. And then in college when she was in a more diverse environment, she experienced challenges around cultural fluency (more on this to follow).
I would like to begin a dialogue with you two, Katy, and perhaps Steve, friend of mine who is African American and who was also adopted by a Caucasian couple in the 70's. This dialogue can be quite informal, questions posed, time given for reflection, and your responses.
Though, as I ponder this I am aware that these exchanges may be of tremendous use to others currently traveling down the road of transracial adoption. And though some of your experiences could be influenced by the era you were in, some are profoundly universal.
One format this could take is a blog that could be limited to posting by just us. This way we could all see our responses and comment as well. But, it would be visible though to others. Is that too open a forum? If so, we can try another format. Perhaps just email. Other ideas?
I am excited and daunted, by the possibility of venturing down this path with you all. I feel a book could be in the future (good way to scare everyone off, huh!) No, please consider the power of sharing your truth...you all made maverick choices, and lived through the consequences. I would be honored if you would now reflect on them, and share.
dm
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