Response from Tim

Hi, Dawn,

This sounds like a fun trip, and I'm comfortable with whatever format you choose, however open.

When our son was still an infant, Cally and I decided we wanted another child. Finding it difficult to conceive after several years, we decided in 1972 that adoption would be a good alternative, especially as we would be able to choose a daughter. We learned that there were virtually no white infants available (without handicaps), but that there were black or biracial infants. We thought such an adoption would be a fun experience but not a significant challenge, as we had lived for two years teaching black East Africans. Soon thereafter we were introduced to a biracial 8-month old, whom we renamed Katy and legally adopted one year later.

Katy has changed our lives in innumerable, positive ways. Number one, she is a loving, lovable individual (who happens to be biracial). Cally and I had only brothers so Katy provided a wonderful balance to our family. Growing up in a predominantly white environment, she has brought diversity and open-mindedness to two sets of relatively conservative grandparents and a previously bigoted great-grandfather, a host of our adult friends and acquaintances, and, I'm certain, countless peers for three years in a private secondary school and in a four-year, predominantly white, liberal arts college. She has made that difference because most have experienced Katy is an extraordinarily empathic human being, not because she touts her black heritage.

Katy has changed me. On the one hand, I am more aware of racial prejudice and speak out against racism and support civil rights organizations. On the other hand (and this is perhaps a dichotomy), I am colorblind; while racial heritage and pride should be encouraged, I have moved beyond initial black power and equal opportunity to an individual's ultimate identity as what really matters, his or her abilities, skills, and merits.

You and your husband are in our prayers for a successful adoption.

Tim